The First Time Jerry Seinfeld’s Parents Saw His Stand-Up | Netflix Is A Joke

For whatever reason,
I was very embarrassed around my parents to show them this part of my personality. So when I started doing this, it was,
you know, a little strange to them, you know, when I told them, “I think
I want to be a comedian,” and they went… “OK.” “You know,
you’ve never done anything funny.” [laughter] And so, eventually, I brought them here, and they sat right there. And I was so nervous that night, because I was showing them
this whole side of myself. It was like my little gay-closet moment,
you know, where I had to say, “Mom, Dad, I’m… I don’t know how to tell you this,
but I’m a funny person.” “And I… I don’t want to be ashamed
of it any more, and… I want to lead a funny lifestyle now.” [laughter] “I want to be with other funny people, I want to have breakfast
at two in the afternoon.” [laughter] And I was out. [laughs] And the other thing was uh…
meeting girls in the bar out there. That was a new thing, too, because comedians sometimes have a little
difficulty in normal social situations. I can do this, for some reason, and I always… always felt comfortable
doing what I’m doing right now. I could talk to all of you, but I can’t talk to any of you. [laughter] I don’t really understand that, but I’ve talked to a lot of other
comedians that have a similar thing. So when you… Coming here and doing a show, and then you go sit in the bar
and girls would talk to you. And that was, like, unbelievable. So that’s why
we never went any place else. [laughter] Why would you not go
where someone might be able to see you do the one thing that you can do
that’s kind of cool? So I started having relationships
with women, observing them up close. Uh… Especially their bathrooms –
fascinating little wonderlands. I noticed that women need a large and constant supply of cotton balls, and men don’t need any. I’ve never had a cotton ball
in my entire life. I’ve never bought one, owned one, needed one. I’ve never been in a situation
where I’ve thought to myself, “I could use a cotton ball right now.” [laughter] “I could certainly get out of this mess.” Women need them. And they don’t need one or two,
they need thousands every single day. They buy beanbag chairs
filled with cotton balls – two days later, they’re all out,
they need more. They’re on their way back to the store. The only time you ever see them
is in the bottom of a little wastebasket, looking like they have had
a horrible experience. [laughter] Tortured, interrogated –
I don’t know what you did to them. Once, a woman left three cotton balls
over at my house. It took me a year to use them up. Put one on the kitchen floor for
cockroaches to think it’s a tumbleweed, go, “This is a dead town. Let’s move on.” [laughter and applause] Or I go to the doctor. Before he gives you the shot, puts alcohol
on your arm with a cotton ball, I bring one of mine. He goes for his, I go,
“Maybe you could use this one.” [laughter] Sometimes he would use it,
take a penny off on my bill. Gives me the prescription,
I take that home, open up the bottle, there’s another cotton ball in there. The cotton-ball syndicate
was always one step ahead. [laughter]

37 thoughts on “The First Time Jerry Seinfeld’s Parents Saw His Stand-Up | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. I love Jerry Seinfeld. I'm surprised they haven't attacked his ass yet. For having that love affair with that child several years ago.

  2. The problem with Seinfeld is that he's from a different era and his comedy can't compete with the quality we are used to now. He was never that good, but back in the day there were fewer rivals. He was very lucky to appear a few decads ago, because in this day and age he would never make it

  3. Everyone saying He isn’t funny, but honestly I find him funnier than most just for the absence of curses as the punchlines.. and I’m 19 if that matters lol

  4. Sometimes his comedy is just too clean. There's a dirty joke opportunity there for sure. I couldn't come up with it, but I bet someone like Louis CK could

  5. My dad can not stand cotton balls… he can’t touch them he gets the heebee geebees πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ so we tease him and toss them at him

  6. You know a good comedian, they tell their jokes, you laugh, you go home and forget what the jokes were. I saw Jerry last time he was performing in Sydney. I can't remember one of his jokes except for part of one where he ponders how they work out the expiry date on milk. He speculated that the cow must be telling the farmer secretly.

  7. I find him funnier on his CICGC show…you really can see how his mind works with his witty banter and his confidence (sometimes makes him look cocky) makes for really good entertainment.

    As for the guest, it's really hit or miss. Some of them come in awe of him or shy and doesn't come out very entertaining. The ones that are naturally funny, keep up with his banter, or have heart to hearts are what makes me tune in.

    Even the lulls or uncomfortable silences are nice…that's what REALLY happens in day to day conversations and makes it more organic & satisfying.

    As for Seinfeld's comedy per se, it's not my cup of tea. Although very clever, and some thought provoking, it's just too clean in the way that it just feels too "packaged for mass consumption" that his real personality, what makes me tune in on his show, his material seems generic & forgettable. Funny as it maybe…

    I think Richard Pryor & Dave Chapelle had it figured out…they are eclectic, intelligent, edgy & mostly funny!! Their personality shines through the material that could make you laugh with Social commentary, relationships, politics…but they were never below a good fart joke.

    Speaking of this special…the camera work didn't do it any favors & was really distracting.

  8. Truthfully, Jerrys standup isnt nearly as funny as his show was. The show was great, but his pretention and smugness kills his stand up comedy.

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