Internet Comment Etiquette: “Movie Trailers”

Hello, and welcome to Internet Comment Etiquette. I’m Luscious Locks Erik… and I’m here to tell you that I love movie trailers. That’s right, I love movie trailers. I watch them all the time. Now, let’s see if we can go online and find some movie trailers and check the etiquette and make sure everything’s up to… Up to… MY standards. All right, here we go. Here’s The Emoji Movie teaser trailer. Aaaaaaand PLAY! Now in order to avoid any kind of copyright claims that might hit my video just for showing this stuff, even though it’s fair use I’m gonna have to mess with the video a little bit, so don’t get freaked out when I just all of a sudden Flip it upside down… and distort… add borders… aaand… PIXELATE! Now this should ensure that I don’t get caught by that bullshit automated copyright claim system that YouTube is legally incapable of dealing with. And if it does get caught, I’ll just fuck these videos up even more and then re-upload it with more ads on it. Because I’m Big Money, not Give Money. [chuckles smugly] All right, we’re… we’re missing the trailer. Hang on. [music playing]
MEH EMOJI: So bring the family. [music stops] MEH EMOJI: Doesn’t have to be your family. Donate the budget of this film to cancer research. I can’t wait for the dab movie! I wonder if the square square emoji gonna be in this movie? Next: Dog Filter The Movie 2018. Up next is Dank Memes The Movie! What’s next? Dat Boi movie? Here we see what’s called a comment etiquette recurring joke and that people have taken the opportunity to safely blurt out old, overused memetic references, and I think I have one to add. HEY WHAT’S NEXT, A MOVIE BOUT BOUNCING ON MY BOY’S DICK? Aaand… POST! Ayooo! See what I did th– [theme music playing] Viral movie trailers have been one of the most lucrative boons to the movie industry since Tom Cruise and fuckable blue aliens. And as with all things, Hollywood decided to take the idea of online marketing and squeeze every last drop of blood that they possibly could out of it. So now in addition to movie trailers, we also have teasers for trailers and teasers for teaser trailers and announcements for teasers that’ll tease a teaser which teases the trailer. And in the case of the new Star Wars movie, we actually have a teaser trailer for the first day of filming before they had any footage available to make a real teaser. So that’s… So that’s where we’re at. But it’s all in the vein of getting people excited. After all, that is the main purpose of a movie trailer. Word of mouth and excitement sells tickets. And sometimes that goes great, such as this Suicide Squad trailer. Which I’m going to flip around… Add an echo… Put a SpongeBob in the corner…
There we go. That’s not getting caught by any systems. Right, right, well anyway, this movie turned out to be a pathetic piece of shit, but that shouldn’t change how we feel about the trailer. Hey this trailer was awesome great work too bad the movie pissed the bed so hard you’d swear donald trump wrote it a check. If you guys are this good at duping people then I’d like to hire you to do PR for my upcoming trial about my missing wife LOL wherever she is! You could do a trailer about the moon landing being real and even I might believe it, though we all know that shit was filmed on a soundstage and the moon is a project bluebeam hologram that the government uses to warm our oceans so they can blame Chinese people beep bop borp anybody know how to build a dog catapult? Aaand POST! So yeah, people loved that trailer, but not every trailer gets such high regards. Take, for instance, this trailer for Universal Pictures’ A Dog’s Purpose. Which looked fine until this behind-the-scenes footage sank them quicker than a dog in a simulated river on the set of Universal Pictures’ A Dog’s Purpose. Wuh-oh, that’s not good! That’s how you lose a dog! Oh okay, well it looks like they got that shot eventually. Anyway, the end result here is that everybody hates this movie. You fucked up, LOL! Fuck this film! Dog drowners! Boycott this movie. Looked good until they almost drowned a German Shepherd. I am drowning in excitement to see the box office numbers for this wonderful family film. Ahh, you see what he did there? You’re fucked now, cunts! Looo-lol! Hey hit me up when you’re making the sequel and I’ll let you borrow my dog catapult. Aaand POST! Well anyway, moving along, I think my favorite movie trailer at the moment is this one. For… uh… this thing. I have no idea what the fuck it is. Untitled by A24. Aaand… PUT in a movie theater! What is this movie? This movie’s craaazyyyy! Whooooaaa! I have a feeling this movie is about some advanced version of test tube babies. Maybe A.I. Artificial Intelligence… remake? I get a genetically-engineered baby thriller vibe… [sad noise] Clones… My interpretation: a future where parents whose infant has passed away or is in a vege-blah blah blah blah blah, a-blah blah blah, skip. Yeah, you see, nobody knows exactly what this movie’s about cause it’s a very cryptic trailer. So what they’re doing is, in the absence of real plot, they’re coming up with their own ideas of what the plot could be and getting very excited about their own ideas, because everybody likes their own ideas. And then when the plot of this movie is ultimately revealed, all of those people are gonna be let down because they were thinking of a much different movie. So I don’t know. It’s just good viral marketing, I guess. I got my own theory, let’s, uh… hit… hit ’em with that. Uhhh did I miss something or was this just shots of babies and old people underneath nonsense words? Yo I’ll tell you who does mad baby shots is Hillary Clinton she drinks more baby blood than any creature from a Mexican folktale just pick one they all do it. Okay my guess on this movie is it’s about what life would be like if we got Obamacare 8 years earlier but it was called Bushcare and it was just a doctor who shapes your penis bush into cool stuff until we realize they’re cloning our bushes and selling them to China as autonomous bush creatures whose only job is to buy movie tickets so the government can influence what we put in our movies and then in ten years it’s like Buddhism never fucking existed and Tiananmen Square is just a cool place to catch Pokémon on your phone long story short fuck you I got a big bush 9/11. Aaand POST! Well, enough with these big budget Hollywood movies. Let’s check out something a little more independent, like this one, Fifty Shades Darker. Ah, an extended trailer. I wonder what the hell that means. Aaand PLAY! Aaand ZOOM! Aaand VOICEDUB! DUMB GUY VOICE: Have dinner with me. DUMB GIRL VOICE: Okay fine, I’ll have dinner with you. Because I’m… …hungraaayy? Aaand MINIONS! [moaning in dumb girl voice] Whoa, this movie looks rad! Let’s see what people are saying in the comment section. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady link. Great! The theater is going to smell like tuna! Fifty Shades Darker HD, full movie, shady Google Plus link. Wow, crazy how fast these movies get leaked online. Ah, I got a comment. Hey is this called an extended trailer because it gives away the entire movie? Anyway I’m not trying to see this shit I got tricked into the first one because it made it seem like they were gonna have kindy sex but all they did was argue and slap each others butts. If you wanna know that real fringe shit you should hit me up I just built this dog catapult and it saved my marriage in one night. This sucker can launch a labradoodle onto your neighbor’s roof from fifty feet away and you can jerk off watching him try to get it down or whatever I usually pop off at least two quick nuttarootis before the fire department shows up to rescue my animal. Kony 2012 Aaand POST! Anyway, speaking of movie trailers, uh, porn counts as movies, right? Because I found this teaser trailer for Cock Hero Island 4. I don’t know, let’s check it out. PLAY! All right Peanuts gang, get in there. Cover up that. Come on, Linus. All right, thanks Alf. Well, I’ve got my comment ready. I’m gonna beat off to this teaser so hard youd swear my mom just pulled out of the driveway to buy groceries. If you put a nanny cam in my bedroom when nobody’s home you better hope it’s battery powered otherwise it’ll try to hang itself with the cord after an hour of watching what I do to my two guy. See you got your one guy and you got your two guy, and my two guy lives in a world of constant punishment. thanks for the free porn I’m a nazi lol FIFTY SHADES DARKER HD FULL MOVIE HTTP BLALALALALALALA Aaand POST! All right, well I can’t tell if this lesson was about movie trailers or how to post too many comments about my own dick. Guess I’m just kinda busy researching this Patreon goal here where I owe… those people, like… five dick raps, at least. Speaking of shit I owe people who gave me money, I have a teaser trailer of my own to show you. Well, it’s actually a, uh, announcement for a teaser for an announcement… …that’ll be followed by a teaser trailer for a trailer for Erik Drinks Wine and Gets a Haircut. Yeah, it wouldn’t let me put the whole title in there. But here’s a clip. [dramatic music plays] [Erik grunts repeatedly] So go check that out. There’s a link in the description. And uh, if my research is correct, that should hype people up to a great degree and then completely let them down when I release the final product. Very much looking forward to that. And I think the real thing we learned today here, guys is that you can bypass copyright claims if you fuck the video up. So yeah, that’s it. Good night and happy 2018, everybody. [Hot Dad’s “Big Money Salvia” plays]
♫ Big Money Salvia ♫ ♫ Big Money Salvia, Salvia ♫ YOUNOW STREAMER, READING: What did you think of the teaser trailer for Erik Drinks Wine and Gets a Haircut? YOUNOW STREAMER: I-I-I don’t think I saw that. YOUNOW STREAMER, READING: Guess I need to pay more Asian people to talk about it online. YOUNOW STREAMER: Probably, I’ve never heard of it. YOUNOW STREAMER: I don’t… I don’t wanna watch the full movie, dude. That’s okay. ♫ Ah, Big Money, Money Money ♫

100 thoughts on “Internet Comment Etiquette: “Movie Trailers”

  1. Heey this shit don’t apply to me I’m such a bad boy I took so many red pills that I overdosed and my mom had to call an ambulance brah. If soy makes me such a pussy then explain all the threesomes I have with my 98 pound instagram model girlfriend and her other boyfriend who I’m okay sharing her with. Hey nice beard by the way, how many months did that take to grow out haaa? I’d sure love to see your testosterone numbers but the results might come back inconclusive because “kissy-pie twink” isn’t a recognized scientific value brah. I dunno how they do it over there on fancy accent island but this is America where we have a long standing tradition of putting whatever the fuck we want in our mouths without worrying what Paul McCartney’s dipshit nephew has to say about it. I wonder where Paul Joseph Watson could ever have guessed his career as a no nonsense champion of independent journalism would lead him to bitching for eight minutes straight about dudes eating silly for a website that makes all of it’s money selling Homopathic Boner pills. And just in case you’re wondering soy did not give me these tits the beer did that.

  2. Erik you described why everyone hated "the last jedi". All of tge fanboys had these crazy ideas of the movie and none of them were true.

  3. You look like you were the kind of kid to have a 2×4 in their treehouse that you screwed a bunch of squirrels to by their tail then hung up over the door like some kind of hunting trophey. Wait no that's Ted Cruz. Big love for your salvia big salvia man #heroin

  4. I seriously almost choked on the lunch I was eating when the fucking Peanuts gang showed up, as I started involuntarily laughing so hard. You are a fucking genius. Please never stop making vids.

  5. He did exactly what he said he was gonna do.Salvia drinks wine and gets a hair cut was a total let down.the only part I thought was funny was that he spent like 100$ and kept the other few thousand.

  6. 22,539 : 155 – Hybt moldn't sprinchoghtn it abotchenvod I schoscef-dodst have sochemn hirtyts could han churfend or intmenths.

  7. tried bouncing on my boys teaser trailer for a teaser trailer containing a sneak peak of me bouncing on my other boys third eye (the movie version) to like, the first half of this video, for hours. but halfway through the process of actually buying the book i accidentally clicked a 'fifty shades darker hd full movie' link.. and then suddenly BOTH of my boys straight-up got zapped by obamas drones mid-bounce. 🙁 so that kinda ruined the whole experience but overall this vid was pretty good, but not as good as the benifits that will come from not drinking tap water.
    i ate like three toes today

  8. My boi's dick is so extended that his trailer park billed him for a double lot because he was parking another trailer on the neighboring lot , turns out he was just hanging his dick out the kitchen window , rumor has it because he watched some trailer about this guy drinking wine and getting a haircut

  9. Yeah but they found out the "behind the scenes" footage of A Dog's Purpose was edited to make it seem more urgent. When the first clips switches to the second, there was actually a day or more period between the pieces of footage.

  10. Legend has it Erik has enough money saved up to sustain his current lifestyle past the heat death of the universe

  11. Does erik actually type in his videos? It sorta looks like he doesn't since he never makes a mistake and all.

  12. Here is a recipe for you sodomites.

    1 can of tuna
    3/4 can of butter beans
    Toss in small pan at medium low heat with olive oil, garlic and onion powder, savory, and thyme.

    Serve on toasted dog with gruyere.

  13. Hey man, I haven't laughed this hard since I saw Adam Sandler act like a child for 15 straight movies. My mom thinks that one day I could move out of the house but my therapist says it's highly unlikely with my compulsive porn habit and throwing away unopened food. I "lost" our guinea pig last week but that will be the last time they try to have me make dinner. Anyway, I'm gonna get off here so I can try to find a new category of porn that hasn't been tapped into yet. Later.

  14. That dog movie is a perfect example of how easy it is to stoke outrage against someone you've got beef against, and how easily we are misled without trying to find shit out first before we freak out.

  15. 3:13 where were these people when milo and otis came out?, i dont hate milo and otis, its actually one of my favourite movies, but still, lmao

  16. Wow now I'm kinda worried about saliva damage , this guy seams way to smart to really be anti Trump here in the 3rd world we cant afford to risk dropping likes on Anti Civilization talk (all anti Trump talk is Anti Civilization) hope its just part of the character.

  17. Why do you have and use so much 3M Blue tape? I have spotted it in many of your videos. I have three guesses…1- you're hooked on the smell, 2- you're a decorator by trade, 3- you do a lot of 3D-Printing.

  18. I don't fucking understand the time line of this shit. His hair was much shorter in that teaser. Did he like film 10 videos in advance and finish editing them after he trimmed his hair or did he film the trailer months prior and continued to grow his hair out. And how the fuck does he still have footage of himself with long hair? It's like he spent 6 months straight filming every fucking conceivable possibility. I imagine he's' got a cork board full of fucking red string pointing to all sorts note cards pinned to the board. It's like he's a genius for the dumbest shit imaginable. He's the opposite of the Asian kid who can't get into Harvard because they're too smart and will fuck up the curve for all the non-Asians.

  19. yeah man the bus stop today was like an ad for a dog with amex at the front gg after that i saw a flight centre bag in a restaurant that still totally had its tag on

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