Ellen Degeneres Gets Anxiety In Restaurants | Netflix Is A Joke

– Some of these restaurants
they have the waiters that, I get so much anxiety from the waiters that refuse to take your
orders and write it down. They insist on memorizing your order. (audience laughing) Oh, my God. I have so much anxiety. I don’t know why they insist on doing, like they’re impressing
us in some way, you know, like we’re gonna go home
later that night lying in bed talking, “I still can’t
get over that waiter. (audience laughing) (heavy sigh) “Every single thing he remembered. (audience laughing) “Uh! “The green beans, I
thought about that, too, “on the side and… “Good night.” (audience laughing) If I see they’re not gonna write it down, I say, “Do you mind if I write
it down and give it to you, “and then you take it in the kitchen? “Is that okay? “Cause, I’d like it to come out right.” (audience giggling) It’s just so, I’m filled with
anxiety when they come up to the table and they
just come up and they, “And the lady will have? (audience laughing) “Thank you. (audience laughing) “And for the gentleman? (audience laughing) “Shouldn’t be a problem. “I’ll speak with the chef, and, yes, and the green beans on the side. “I’ll do that, thank you. (audience laughing) “And for you? (audience laughing) “Deathly allergic, all right. “I’ll remember that, yes,
no, deathly allergic. “I got it right there. “Thank you. (audience laughing) “And next. (audience laughing) “Thank you. (audience laughing) “And this side of the table. (audience laughing) “Excellent choice.” I hate when the say, “Excellent
choice,” right after me. Like, what was my choice? It wasn’t, why do you say that to her? (audience laughing) Some of the nicer restaurants
have the bathroom attendants in there, which is a, I don’t understand how that job got started. That was somebody’s idea. I don’t know who started that. I don’t know if some person,
a customer in the restaurant, “I’d like to speak to the manager.” “I’m the manager, was there
a problem with the meal? “Everything okay?” “Everything was fine, thank
you, delicious as a matter “of fact, but when I
went into the bathroom, “I was all alone. (audience laughing) “Nobody was in there.” (audience laughing) “All right, so you’d like
someone to go in with you?” “No, I’d like someone already in there “before I get in there
waiting, listening.” (audience laughing and applauding) The bathroom attendant
used to be a simple thing. There was a woman in there
and there was a hair brush and some mints that, by the way, who’s using that hair brush? (audience laughing) There’s hair in it already and you… (audience laughing) Now, it’s like it’s grown. It’s like now there’s anything
you could possibly want in the bathroom, it’s like a whole bodega is setup in there, there’s like. There’s a makeup display. There’s a curling iron, hair extensions. (audience laughing) Crudites. (audience laughing) “Oh, are those strawberries in season? “Those look good.” (audience laughing) You leave the bathroom
to go back to your table, “I’m full, I ate in the bathroom. (audience laughing) “I don’t need anything. “Oh, and the hummus was good.” (audience laughing) If I go in there and if I
don’t have any money on me and they’re trying to hand
me the towel, I feel, I “No, thank you. “I can’t. “No. “I don’t, no, I don’t deserve it. “Give it to the lady there. (audience laughing) “No, thank you. “I’m good.” (upbeat heavy bass instrumental music)

70 thoughts on “Ellen Degeneres Gets Anxiety In Restaurants | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. Ellen DegeneRAT is a piece of crap 💩 !!! I I was hoping this video was about her having such a terrible anxiety attack that she passed away !!! 👎👎👎👎👎😖😖😖😖😖

  2. This is what happens when your only qualification is that you merely check a box on an HR form and are funded to push a an agenda. But, you are too stupid or shameless to understand how bad you are.

  3. I miss the old Ellen- void of all the political sht. She was my favorite in the late 90s. Still funny- just lost alot of respect from me for all the "opinions" she shares because people should listen to celebrities.

  4. Hey, Ellen- How many war criminals have you consorted with THIS week? If you shake their hands, make sure to wash the blood off afterwards! Hypocrite!

  5. Winnie-The-Pooh characters represent a mental disorder: Eeyore – Depression, Pooh – Addiction, Tigger – ADHD, Owl – OCD, Piglet – Anxiety

  6. No way in hell will I ever find this Illuminati witch in any way relatable. If you’re friends with the man who wanted to ban gay marriage then you sold your soul to the devil a long time ago, HELLen.

  7. She’s so used to forced studio laughter that she’s detached from seeing what’s actual comedy. This is what happens when you surround yourself with Yes Men and receive no true feedback

  8. the very first line of this clip contradicts her exact joke. If she didnt think about it after the fact, she wouldnt even remember it to make a joke about it.

  9. There is so many keyboard warriors on this thread who are mean for no reason. Ellen I love your comedy. Some people need a refresher on being nice.

  10. Please don't associate this with the left, this isn't political at all. Literally… it's not. It's not funny but how is it politically motivated? Fucking trumptards

  11. I've been a waitress for 18years!! This is fucking hilarious! Some restaurants require that you memorize orders. I write everything down, to make sure that its always right.

  12. Felt like she stretched the idea too far. It wasn't bad but she kept going with it. The topic wasn't good enough to explore it for that long. Idk but she needs to work on her act a bit more. Maybe she's rusty.

  13. Ellen gets anxiety cause she is a pro war criminal and so bought and paid for by corporate media. I'm not surprised she doesn't get spit in her food everywhere.

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